Making sense without making excuses....

That's what I'm now trying to do. Make sense of what is going on without making up lame excuses.

Hard to do. Almost as hard as being patient.

After freaking out and subsequently calming down, I find myself on the brink of freaking out again. I'm really really trying to be patient - but I guess I just don't understand why I'm getting such limited responses to my emails. Or, like the most recent one I sent, no reply at all.

I'm going through everything in my mind and it just doesn't add up. I find myself comparing him to a guy that I know who is interested in me (who I am not interested in at all beyond friends and I have told him this). This other guy calls me nearly every day, even though I've said we wouldn't be anything more than friends. My point is, he calls. He called as often before he asked me out. Basically what I'm saying (and thinking) is this - wouldn't someone who is interested make more of an effort to keep in contact? Regardless of how busy they are?

And here come the excuses. I know he really hasn't dated anyone in a long time. He was hurt pretty badly in his last relationship (this all goes back to his major issue being trust) and stepped away from dating. Could it be he has gotten so used to being single, that even though he is interested, he's used to not having to be in communication with someone? Is that possible? I try to figure out the male's mind and I just can't do it. I know for me, when I am interested - I'm excited to hear from them, excited to talk to them, excited to see them, excited to even send an email. I look forward to coming home and seeing a new message. I would like to think guys are the same way?

I guess I'm really not freaking out so much as I am totally and utterly confused at this point. I think I'm going to send one last email because I do want to at least tell him about my day today - he'd appreciate the story I have to tell him. If I don't hear back from him after that, then I pretty much know my fate is sealed.