Got myself a little Christmas present...

So for the past month or so I've really been craving a tattoo. More specifically, I've been craving a four-leaf clover tattoo. My wanting of this tattoo has been fueled recently by watching several episodes of L.A. Ink. Not only that, but some associates at work have some new inkwork as well. Tonight I decided after work if I could find a design of a four-leaf clover I liked, I would get the tattoo.

I knew before searching of these things: I wanted it on the inside of my wrist and I did not want some cheesy cartoony looking bright green design, in fact, I was leaning more toward black outline and gray shading.

After searching I found the PERFECT design on, of all places, Jo-Ann fabrics, more specifically, Jo-Ann Designs. I could never describe it in words so here it is:
It looks a little misshapen only because it's a little swollen from just having it done but I love it love it love it. Simple and black. And a four-leaf clover. Here's hoping it brings me some luck!

hit me, beat me...it's okay, because i love you......

That seems to be what a friend of mine is thinking. Over a year ago she was dating said girlfriend hitter. He got mad at her (oh but he was really wasted) and smacked her around. She ended things that night when he did that and soon after she moved to a different state for a job. Well, she ended up moving back to MI and what is the first thing she said to me? That she misses said a-hole and that she's going to see him. Didn't take too long before she said she wants him back, blah blah blah - and it seems that it's heading toward a reconciliation/getting back together. He's actually being the intelligent one in this case and holding things off. For whatever reason, and I've never met him, but I've never got a good feeling about him.

I just would not let someone back into my life that hit me at any time. A person does not hit another if they love them, and sorry to sound sexist, but a man does not hit a woman. I'm all about equality in the workplace, and equality when it comes to the mind. But there are definitely physical differences between women and men that cannot be denied. A man who hits a woman is using those differences as leverage and power over a woman and that makes them a giant coward. Not only a coward but the biggest a-hole on the planet.

When my friend starts talking about this a-hole, I really don't say anything. I've made my feelings about him known back when she first started talking about seeing him again. Reminding her of the beating. Guess it went in one ear and out the other. And here I never thought she'd become one of those broken women who takes the abuse because they believe there is nothing else.

Okay, I'm done ranting about horrible men. How about a head-scratcher instead? I was out yesterday at one of my favorite local semi-fast food semi-chains (it's very localized to the west side of the state). I was brushing the snow off of my car (because in the 20 minutes I was inside the place, the snow had piled up to where I couldn't see, yeah I was happy) when a car pulls in, and I hear "Excuse me ma'am?" So I turn, and there's a guy pretty much blocking my car with his in the lot. He says "I need to get to Allegan?" So immediately I thought he needed directions, because he ended the statement with the up inflection on Allegan, which says question, not statement. So I said, "Okayyyyyy..." and he said, "No, I know how to get there, I just am out of gas and I am wondering if you have any spare change?" To which I said, "I don't have any cash, sorry." And he drove off.

Let's see. You drive around asking for money for gas, but yet you're out of gas. Here's a thought, STOP DRIVING AROUND. You're using more gas driving around than making it I'm sure to make it to Allegan. Oh, and I did have cash. I just prefer not to give it to morons.

As far as my craftiness is concerned, I've been holding myself back from buying more yarn. I'm very very close to finishing my gray blouson sweater (I have maybe a half-inch to go on the body and then it's the arms and then I'm done). I've told myself I'm not buying any yarn until after Christmas and so far I've been good about this (despite several almost breaking points because of sales). I have several projects I want to do lined up. I started a scarf for myself too, because I bought a new coat, and a new dark purple scarf would look soooooooo nice. My natty hat did NOT turn out after blocking. It would be a great kid's hat. Too small for my big head. Perhaps I'll donate it to the homeless shelter here.

Onto trying to get that sweater done and blocking TODAY!

hey you i don't like your girlfirend.....

.....so apparently I am someone's girlfriend and I didn't even know it..... It of course, isn't true... But I'm continuously baffled by this person's behavior and the jealousy behind it... One of my best friends happens to be male. Not only male, but a married male at that. We used to work for the same company, but now work for different companies. Despite that, we've kept up our friendship because we're able to talk about anything and everything, and being the friends that we are - we do the whole cheering up thing when one of us is down. We only talk before work (on the drive to work) or after work (again, on the drive home). We don't talk on weekends. We don't talk after 5:30pm or so at night. We haven't seen each other in months (since before he left the company). But according to his wife, our friendship must end. He is too emotionally involved with me. WHAT?

She went through his phone bill, saw that on some days he talks to me for a half hour or so, and demanded he stop talking to me. Okay. So I'm single. He's not. There is where I would initially raise my eyebrows if he were my husband. But as I said, we don't see each other. In fact, he's home every night. I put myself in her shoes and tried as hard as I could to see things from her point of view and I cannot bring myself to be as jealous as that when there is no reason to be. She in fact even said that "I know nothing physical is going on because you're always home". But she's worried about him being too emotionally involved with me. Yeah, let me just say, my friend is NOT an emotional person. That's what makes the friendship work - I'm the emotional one - and the emotional part is not me gushing my love for him or asking him to be with me - it's my freak-outs at work or freak-outs about my latest dating failure - he grounds me when I become a wreck.

It just irritates me that he gets treated like that when there is no cause. We have to sneak around to talk like we actually are having the affair she seems to think we're having.

Anyway. So the guy I mentioned in the previous post is still after me. I found out something disturbing and that is he's into prescription drugs and doing "whippits". I just can't bring myself to being okay with that. It's not okay. It's dangerous and stupid. It's just one more thing on top of everything else which tells me to stay away. So I'm keeping my distance. I talk to him, but that's it. If at anytime he brings up seeing each other I make up an excuse. Yeah, I'm a chickenshit like that. I'd rather be evasive then say flat out what I'm feeling when it comes to dating him. No wonder I get the same treatment by guys. I guess it is true, what goes around comes around.

Dammit.

Oh what a tangled web we weave.......

i don't even know where to begin... a couple of days ago i started talking to someone that i swore i would never talk to again... someone who berated me and basically said that what i wanted out of life was never to be had because it was impossible... but yet here i get drawn back in by this person.. they claim that they have changed. they claim that they realized what they had lost when the let me go. they claim that i am what they want.

inside of me there is nagging doubt. i have pretty good intuition when it comes to reading people. it isn't 100% accurate, but then again, nothing is. i just feel like i am being set up again for a big fall. i have a feeling he's yet again weaving a tangled web of lies that i will have to cut myself free of.

i would rather be alone than be a part of something that is based on lies.

my brain and lack of oxygen...

i have heard that people yawn due to a lack of oxygen.. oxygen of course is necessary for us to live and one of the many components that keeps a human alive (and hopefully somewhat cognizant) is brain activity....

last night while working on the many many stitched sweater (which despite my complaining, i am falling more in love with every day because the tiny stitches and soft yarn are so pretty), i FINALLY got to the point of decreasing and separating the arms.. well my dumb ass thinks "oh i don't need a second circular needle for that, i can just slip the arm stitches onto a DPN and everything will work"... um.. think mcfly think.. i had to join the round after slipping the arms (those who have done top down raglans know what i mean).. after slipping them to a DPN, i found.. shockingly.. that the needle was too long and i couldn't join the round..

i attribute this to a lack of oxygen to my brain since i was tired last night when i got to the point above... under normal oxygenated circumstances i would never have thought this....

yeah, that's it...

3 repeats of a 2 row pattern with 400 stitches.....

oh and let's not forget the increase row is one of the 2 row pattern... so taking that out of the equation i have minimally 2400 stitches left to knit before i start the next part of this pattern.. no, not finish the pattern, begin the next part.. and there's at least 12 inches of pattern to the next part.. all stockinette.. all in the round.. all done on size 4 needles.. it will take me until december to finish, i know it will..

especially since i bought even more yarn today to start on xmas pressies for the girls..

oh and juliet.. yeah, still not finished.. wanted to finish it two weeks ago.. still sitting pretty much in the same position it was two weeks ago.. about two inches to go..

if i ever finish a project, and that means finished to the point of wearing, it'll be a miracle..

at least it's not for a lack of trying.. and trying while adding new projects to the fray...

not an error of the operator...

sometimes i'd like to throw my computer out my window and watch it break apart into several pieces.. then go down and complete the job by beating it with a hammer or bat or the like..

i try to register with interweave press to get their newsletter and to be able to download the "tomato" pattern by wendy b. only to be told over and over again that my cookies were not enabled. i went into my options three times and reset the cookies to "enable all cookies" and restarted explorer three times... and got the same message three times.. needless to say i am ticked...

i think i should just get rid of explorer and download firefox.. bill gates can bite my ass..

oh oh oh it's magic, you know...

last night while watching phenomenon i found another reason why i think criss angel rules.... after this so-called "medium" finished his act which was completely ridiculous - he was supposedly "channeling" the spirit of some dead writer.. and proceeded to act like he was having a seizure and writing backwards (i have heard of channeling through writing but in the accounts i have read about the people do not talk about having to go through what this dude did).. all in all completely fabricated.. so he gets done with his little act and criss angel pulls an envelope out of his pocket and offers the guy a million dollars of his own money if he could tell him what was in the envelope to prove that he wasn't a phony. the guy started insulting criss, calling him a bigot (uh, what?) and basically was ready to throw down with him. and being that it was a live show- they cut to a commercial. still, it was cool as hell to see criss basically call the guy out on live tv and not do the whole goody-goody "it was entertaining, but i'm not sure i buy it" type of thing. i have mad respect for him "keeping it real" - even if the premise of the show is to fake people out through illusions. optical illusions is one thing, but claiming you can talk to the dead is another.

today was my day off and i spent it, not surprisingly, knitting. i am working on two sweaters at the moment - one is 70% finished now, the other barely begun. the one that's barely begun is not for lack of effort either - it's on size 4 needles though and right now i probably have over 300 stitches per round (by the end i'll have over 450). let's just say this - i cast it on last sunday, and i'm supposed to do 26 repeats of a two row pattern. i have done 13 of these repeats. yep, it's a slow mover.

onto ravelry aka crack addiction for a little bit then bedtime. work comes early!