Ridiculous... There is no other word...

Sometimes I'm amazed at the complete stupidity of other people. Stupid and nonsensical and basically insane.

A couple of years ago I was kind of seeing a certain guy. We ended up having a huge blow-out fight and I basically cut him out of my life. He basically said I was naive and stupid for believing in monogamous relationships, that they never work out, that there is no such thing anymore. Yeah, a real charmer. Oh and he said all of this after telling me he was engaged to someone else (that's right, while he continued to see me). I told him it would never work (he asked her to marry him after "dating" her for a couple of months). He of course said it would, that I was bitter. So I pretty much said "fuck you," and ended all ties. Well, a couple of months ago he emailed me, apologizing, saying I was right, it didn't work, and that except for the huge fight we had the last time we talked that we never argued, that he realized I was an awesome person to be with, blah blah blah. I decided to at least talk to him again, and for a while (and for a while I mean about a week and a half) he continued to pursue me. I figured I'd let him do the chasing, that if he was serious, he'd try to see me. Slowly, that faded, and pretty soon, I didn't hear much of anything from him.

Now I find out he's "in love". He met this girl (yes, I say GIRL and I will get into that in a little bit) a WEEK ago, and he's in love and they are planning on moving in together. WHAT? To top it all off, he's my age. 32. She's NINETEEN! What the hell is wrong with people? Yeah, I can see this lasting, oh about 3 weeks. About twice as long as they've known each other. Come on! I'm all for hitting it off with someone and wanting to see that person, but after ONE date say you're in love? You're either on drugs, hallucinating, or have serious mental issues. Or maybe all of these.

I could care less that he's seeing someone else. I am more irritated at the fact that he is feeding her the same lines he once fed me. Only I was smart enough not to swallow (pun INTENDED).

One word. Ridiculous.

Crafty Accomplishments.....and other things

I finished my shrug this past Sunday. Just in time to wear this coming Tuesday to a dumb work function I have to go to. Also, I'm almost (almost as in have to sew up one seam) done on my ester shrug. I didn't think I would have had to block it, but it looks like I should have - it seems to be a bit snug and I think blocking it would have taken care of it. Oh well, I'll just try to steam block it bigger when I go to steam block the collar.

Big news for Obama today picking up Richardson's endorsement. Take that Hillary. I just find it amusing that her campaign responded with "his endorsement is basically meaningless at this point, because it is past the point where it would have made a difference". Right... The only hispanic governor who also happens to be a superdelegate makes NO difference. *picture eye-rolling here* I'm sure she would be singing a different tune were she to get the endorsement.

Oh and may I just say - men can be complete bullshit sometimes. Here I thought that my response to the "excuses" would have at least garnered a reply in return, but no. It's almost a week later and I have heard nothing. As I write this I find that I am not angry anymore. I really hadn't thought of any of this since going to see my brother this weekend (when I vented to his girlfriend). I almost find it amusing now. Instead of coming home in anticipation of an email, I come home and I pretty much say to myself, "I bet there isn't an email there".

I've cut the string. And I'm moving on.

I present the world's longest piece of string.....

......And at the end is me, tied and trying to cut myself free.......

Enough of the metaphors, here's what's really going on.

A mere three days ago I posted the "happy happy joy joy" entry. I convinced myself I had overreacted to the "disappearing man". I was thinking how he's not like the others (FINALLY) in that he really wasn't being evasive, that things had come up beyond his control and limited everything else in his life.

I believed he really was into me.

That is, until today. I'm pissed. I'm more pissed than I was before. Before, I ranted and I was done. I'm pissed today. I'll be pissed tomorrow. At least at him.

Here's why. Thursday, we talk on the phone. We agree to meet up Saturday in GR. He said he would think about where to meet and talk to me on Friday. Sweet. I'm excited. Wait. Let me backtrack this and tell another story first. One that will justify me being pissed off.

About ten years ago or so, I was on-again, off-again dating this guy Chris. I had moved to Kalamazoo, he still lived in Jackson. He had come to visit before, and was planning on visiting on a certain weekend. We had planned it out that he would be in Kalamazoo after work on Friday and stay through Sunday. I always worked Saturday mornings, but I arranged it for someone else to take my hours so I could spend it with him. He said he would be at my place by 7pm. 7 comes and goes. 8 comes and goes. Soon it gets close to 9, so first thing I did was talk to the person I had given my hours to at work and said I would work after all that it appeared he wasn't going to show up. I try calling him at home. He's not there. He never shows. I FINALLY get a hold of him late afternoon Saturday. Where was he? Out with a friend drinking. He said he stopped with a friend after work and "before he knew it" he was drunk and couldn't come over. That was the last time I spoke to him.

Fast forward to the present. Last night - no phone call, no email. I try calling - phone is shut off. I leave an email wondering what the plans were since I hadn't heard from him (I left the email after midnight - so it's not like I didn't give him an opportunity to call me or send an email).

Well guess what. Oh I got an email. At 11AM!!!!! And guess what the excuse was? Yep, "before he knew it he was drunk". Oh that, and his cell phone died. So tonight is cancelled because of it. Since when did buying a cell phone become not only an all-day but all-night expedition? When I bought mine, I think I was in the store, hmm... a half hour? And most of that time was spent transferring the account.

This is why I pulled my profile from the dating service. I'm tired of this shit. I'm tired of being thought of last. I'm tired of being strung along. I'm tired of the inconsiderate acts of the opposite sex. I'm tired of assholes.

And that's exactly to me what he's being. Exactly what his friends told him not to be when they were giving him advice about our first date. Don't be an asshole. Well, he is now. Because, to me, not getting in contact with me DURING the day yesterday or even when he got home last night, is being an asshole when he specifically said he would let me know about tonight. And the cellphone and drunk excuses are just that- excuses. Excuses and bullshit.

I deserve more than that.

happy happy joy joy!

That pic pretty much sums up me at the moment. happy happy joy joy happy happy joy joy happy happy joy joy joy!

Oh in case it wasn't obvious..... I got a message.. from the disappearing man... Turns out he disappeared through no fault of his own.. (He was helping a friend in need all week - said it really put things in perspective and in his own way apologized for not getting back to me sooner) AND he wants to see me soon..

Which I probably will this weekend. happy happy joy joy joy!

And in unrelated news. I'm on the hunt for a new vehicle. I won't actually be buying it until probably June, but I'm searching like crazy and I've come to realize that what I want doesn't exist and I'm going to have to order it. I can't find a Saturn VUE with a manual transmission with the mileage that I'm looking for (less than 15,000 miles) and the 08 VUE doesn't come in a manual. I did find one with 12,000 miles here in town but I have a feeling it will be sold by the time that I can buy it. So I may have to go with my second choice - the Ford Escape. At least with the Escape I can order a manual if I need to. I am just really picky - it has to be a manual and it has to be black. No automatic transmission for me! I just really wish that Saturn would again have the option of a stick shift. DAMN THEM!

And before I head off to bed... I forgot one last thing... One last happy happy joy joy thing.. Obama won Mississippi with 61% of the vote! What's that I hear? A hammer striking a nail? On a coffin perhaps? Oh yes that and the faint sound of taps being played for the death of Hillary's campaign.

happy happy joy joy joy!

Mrs. Sippy

I still remember being asked to spell "Mississippi" by one of my cousins. I spelled it "Mrs. Sippy". Pretty ingenious for a 5 year old, huh?

That story sprang to mind today as it is primary day in Mississippi. I believe that Obama will carry the state, which, in my opinion, puts another nail in the coffin that has Clinton's campaign in it.

I have done the math. It is virtually impossible for Clinton to overtake Obama in elected delegates. I went so far as to see how the count would come out were she to win every primary/caucus left with 60% of the vote - which is unlikely, but I wouldn't say impossible. Still, Obama comes out on top. The only way that Clinton would be able to top Obama in elected delegates with the remaining races is to win at least 4 remaining races with 65%. And then not lose any more. There has to be at least 50% of the vote her way in the remaining 7 after winning with 65% to take more elected delegates. Can we say statistical impossibility? She was once up 20 points in Texas. It was cut to 4 points. 65% is just not going to happen. Let's even say that Pennsylvania votes the way Ohio did. That's only 54%. 11 points shy of the magic number. If she wins EVERY race by 62% - she still falls short (by one delegate).

So Ms. Clinton I have this to say:

Hillary, it is time to throw in the towel. You CANNOT win. Accept defeat and concede. The party and the nation will respect you more. The dirty campaign you are running is not working. You seem to be more on board with the republicans and have all but endorsed McCain. Your pathetic olive branch of offering the VP spot to Obama is insulting and condescending. As Kenny Rogers sang, "you've got to know when to fold, know when to walk away." That time is now. Before any more damage is done.

It's been one week.......

Since the date. One week ago at the time I am writing this, I was pulling into a parking spot in South Haven. Checking my make-up and walking up to the place where I met the disappearing man. That's what I am calling him now since he just up and disappeared on me. Well, maybe not completely up and disappeared, more like slowly vanished.

Yeah, that's right, still no email. No phone call. Nothing. I thought of the Friends episode where Chandler went out on a date with Rachel's boss. And at the end of the night said, "well that was great, we should do it again sometime, I'll call you." Of course he never intended to call her. But he said it to be courteous. I thought, well is that me? Was I just handed the same line as the character on Friends? Then I thought about it more. And it just doesn't make sense because he wrote me AFTER he had said it to me at the end of the date. He wrote how he definitely wanted to see me again AFTER he also said he'd call me. Not one time, but two. I know I keep going on and on about the same thing day after day, but it still makes no sense to me.

That and I have no life. So I have nothing else to write about.

Making sense without making excuses....

That's what I'm now trying to do. Make sense of what is going on without making up lame excuses.

Hard to do. Almost as hard as being patient.

After freaking out and subsequently calming down, I find myself on the brink of freaking out again. I'm really really trying to be patient - but I guess I just don't understand why I'm getting such limited responses to my emails. Or, like the most recent one I sent, no reply at all.

I'm going through everything in my mind and it just doesn't add up. I find myself comparing him to a guy that I know who is interested in me (who I am not interested in at all beyond friends and I have told him this). This other guy calls me nearly every day, even though I've said we wouldn't be anything more than friends. My point is, he calls. He called as often before he asked me out. Basically what I'm saying (and thinking) is this - wouldn't someone who is interested make more of an effort to keep in contact? Regardless of how busy they are?

And here come the excuses. I know he really hasn't dated anyone in a long time. He was hurt pretty badly in his last relationship (this all goes back to his major issue being trust) and stepped away from dating. Could it be he has gotten so used to being single, that even though he is interested, he's used to not having to be in communication with someone? Is that possible? I try to figure out the male's mind and I just can't do it. I know for me, when I am interested - I'm excited to hear from them, excited to talk to them, excited to see them, excited to even send an email. I look forward to coming home and seeing a new message. I would like to think guys are the same way?

I guess I'm really not freaking out so much as I am totally and utterly confused at this point. I think I'm going to send one last email because I do want to at least tell him about my day today - he'd appreciate the story I have to tell him. If I don't hear back from him after that, then I pretty much know my fate is sealed.